You try to pay for groceries with your Border's Reward card Ummm, ma'am, you're going to need to try a different card. Preferably from a company that has some money.
The priest gives you the stank eye when he sees you reading Lolita during your cousin's wedding You'd think the Catholic church would have supported Nabokov's preference for the youngsters.
Your hobby interferes with your sex life Oh God, is that really Dean Koontz on the nightstand? And Dan Brown? Yeah, check please.
You personify books when talking to others Ow! Don't bend the pages, it hurts them!
You forget to buy groceries because you're tackling Norton's Anthology (for fun) Paper is made of fiber... fiber is healthy... there's an extra copy of Jane Eyre on the shelf... maybe with a little ranch...
99% of your comments start with the phrase, "That was like in this book I read once..." No one at the bar wants to be compared to Hester Prynne.
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